Little adventures

There are days when the world pulls at me. Yesterday was one of those days. I yanked Mason out of school and we spent the day hiking through Aussie bush, the warmth of spring was evidently close as we let ourselves thump with joyous muse through the trails blazed through a Swordgrass and Banksia playground. Our reward was the sweet salty air, an implosion of white baking in the warmth of the sun as well as maybe a chocolate milkshake at a darling cafe.

23\52 | Simplistically us.

he lay like this for a few minutes, savoring life? who knows

his life is complete so long as a ball is in hand, dirt staining his skin with childhood memories.

I took a hiatus these last few weeks from social networking and I found myself feeling guilt ridden, more so for not complying with my commitment of blogging each week. Then I thought, WHY?

As a mum of two young boys, and fulltime worker, I think I manage my life well. Sure there are moments with greater clarity than others, however, on a whole I feel as though my intentions are merited. I enjoy the and look for pleasure in life’s meritocracies, which in essence means that I am an actively grateful person.

so i got to thinking... 

When did we decide that we can only be grateful for triumphs that are outside of normalcy? When did we decide that it was ok to judge simplicity as average, and measure success in the complexity and difficulty of an ascertained achievement? Our lives have been corrupted by social media, and not in a good way. We seek to achieve in comparison to others, we measure success through our online relationship to what we are perceiving. Pinterest for example, i love it, it inspires me, but it also has the potential to remind me how mediocre (at best) i am as a person, as a wife and as a mother... if i let it!

I think as mere human beings we need to take the time to acknowledge our simplicities. We strive so hard for superiority and greatness, that often times, we negate the beauty that lies in that which passes us by, that which we did not strive for.

I walked out of work yesterday and the smell of winter was on the air, I don’t quite know how to describe it, other than it was crisp and fresh, I could feel the beat of a winter air on my face as the wind blew over the river below and cascaded up an over the ridge towards me. For a brief moment I was mindful, I was present. I closed my eyes lightly and let go and gave my thoughts away. There was so much appreciation in that moment for so many things, more simplistically of them was the ability to be mediocre. To head home to my family, ‘mundane’ as that might appear, to drive my average car to my average (though totally adorable house), to my average family, where we will fight over what is for dinner (something not very pinterest worthy im sure), settle arguments with chocolate, not always get the kids bathed before bedtime, and dare say get them to school late more times that I should. I found myself aptly grateful for the simplicity of normality, and it’s context in my life.

So I have decided to shake off the onus feeling of not engaging in what I have strived to complete – said blog. Instead I revel in the appeased feeling of appreciation for taking a few weeks out to be simplistic and mediocre. It was beautiful, I suggest it!

xxxx

18\52 | Chillin wit the boys

He is always looking for a way to find his own little space in the world.

He loves the bunnies, and i love how much he loves them... all on his own!

This week we found balance, we had coffee in the familiar hum of our local grind. we took venture to new places and found new and exciting places to explore. We came home and snuggled on the couch and made sure someone enjoyed his fav team on the box.

17\52 | The difference a year makes

Mason - always the adventurer  

  Jettah - always the lover

This week i found my self looking back - looking at how far they have come. I admire them so much and i appreciate the way they allow me to see such vibrancy in the world. Mason with his vivacious lust for life and Jettah with his poised ability to see the beautiful in everything. They ground me and push me to new heights all at the same time. 

I hope one day they are able to read back on these moments and know how much i love them. How much they help me be the best i can be. I watch them grow and my heart aches, it aches for the hoe of time standing still, just long enough to fully breathe their scent, to trace the lines in their dimpled smiles and the shape their hands in mine. But time does not. It never will. It pounds ahead daring us to pick up speed and run along with it, in a dreamy haste to move forward and upward. 

Oh the difference a year makes. 

I wonder what lies ahead... i wonder what next year will bring.

Linking in with Jodie and the 52 project and the girls over at The Whole Hearted Journal

15/52 | milton

I forget how big he is getting... always my baby



LOL - ever the dramatic. kissing the guns after winning a round of soccer with his brother whilst I watched on with my coffee

It can be hard finding balance, and with the holidays approaching and knowing I would be working every 'school'day of them, I decided I needed to yank the boys out of class for the day and go on an adventure. It was splendid! We ended up in Milton and Narawallee, beautiful areas. We found Lama's and old trees and even a bee hive in the rainforest walk!  Ahhh balance... I may have found you this week!

linking in with Jodie and the 52 project and the mums over at Wholehearted

14/52 | That Mothering Ache

     

Their love for each other overwhelms me to no end.

There is something about mothering that opens your eyes. I know that sounds tired and cliché. What I’m talking about is something a little different. As a young child, as an aspiring adult, our self-indulgence and somewhat narcissistic nature allow a certain haze to hang about us. We venture through our life never really acknowledging or caring for the lack of permanency it holds. Seldom do we stop to really see, the haze instead swirling through the rationality of our minds, never fully allowing us to embrace the fleeting beauty that is life. To awaken.

We live. We die.

And too often as humans we fight so hard for tomorrow, raging against the torrents of being here, there, doing this now, getting things done quick! We infrequently take pause. We disengage from being present.

I feel this change with mothering. Oh the beauty of mothering. Small fingers, small toes, dirty feet and aching cries, cries that tug at you, cries that warm your bosom as they flow from their eyes to your heart. We as mothers know a love that is greater in strength than any feat imaginable, though there is a paining payoff for the knowing of this love.

We live overwhelmed with the now. In vast contrast to our former selves we are ever present. We humbly nod our heads in recognition of the mortality of this life. We hold our babes closer; we commit their scent to memory and drown ourselves in them. For as mothers we are confronted with the possibility of it all escaping us, of being out of reach in moments. As mothers we ache.

Yesterday as I got ready for work, I had an ominous feeling take hold. It was nothing and for no real reason. Just an irksome itching in the deeper parts of myself that told me to hold my babes that little bit longer. To make sure they heard me say ‘I love you’, before I left them. Later that day a child passed away at work. It was enough to shake the darkest parts of me alive, enough to make me stop and think. Yes if the world, My world stopped today! In this moment, my children knew.

My love for them is big, it is huge. But we are small and not immune to the mortality of this world. And so for all the hugeness of my love, for all the greatness and centering mothering brings there is that pay off. So I ache, every day for my babies, that beautiful, raw mothering ache, which stops the world and pulls at your heart.

We live. We die.

Linking in with Jodie and the 52 Project, aswell as The Whole Hearted Journal, mothering as it is.

10/52 | A small reprieve

For the amount of food he devours, i don't know where is puts it!

The best way to eat cake, is simply to just 'get into it'!!!

Our lives are starting to settle, we are finding our own gentle rhythm. No longer  does the humming of our life drown us out and keep us wired. Instead we are finding our feet neatly placed on the ground and time within the reach of outstretched hands. It is sparse but it is there. I spent yesterday afternoon sitting at the dining table, tea in hand, relishing the conversation of my boys. We discussed their day and their thoughts over cake. A treat in our house. They devoured their cake, just as i devoured my time spent with them, listening and laughing together. A rarity of moments that has found its way back into becoming a staple in our lives.

Following with Jodie in the 52 Project

4/52 | The small stuff

Today i had some fun playing with the multiple exposure setting in my D700. I think a new lens won't be far off.

As the holidays wind down, so too has the heat. We find ourselves tinkering around in the backyard, catching frogs and lizards. 

I am trying take the time to stop and be grateful, for all the little things my children delight in. The things they innocently revel in. In return they gave me a few short moments in front of the camera, before tottering off for trampoline action.... of course i got in on that too!

"Listen earnestly to anything [your children] want to tell you, no matter what. If you don't listen eagerly to the little stuff when they are little, they won't tell you the big stuff when they are big, because to them all of it has always been big stuff.”

                                                                                                                 ~ Catherine M. Wallace